I arrived at the hospital with my mother (who was driving and generally being there for me) loaded on 2mg of xanax. I discussed this in advance with an anesthesiologist to prepare them for the inevitable IV connection. If you did not know this already, I am horrendously hemophobic and if left un-sedated when attempting to access a vein then you will have to deal with some horrible monster version of T.bias that apparently flails his arms around and then faints. Not good.
I change into my chopping block garb and get onto a table with a warm blanket. My mother stops by and I ask her to take a pic of me:
The anesthesiologist came over and gave me an intra-muscular injection of a sedative (I asked and said it was in the same family as valium, so I am guessing it was a benzo). This was another step towards getting the IV in me.
Sooner than I had expected I get rolled out to what I soon realize is the operating room. They ask me to get up and roll my bum over onto the real table. They tell me to lay down. The anesthesioligist tells me that he is going to prepare my arm for the IV and makes sure that the sedatives are in effect.
"I think I'm as good as I'm going to get."
"Ok. Why don't you look over to your right and the cute nurse here."
I look to my right and there are two eyes peeking through some blue cloth and mask. I think she might be pretty. Yea. He is done cleaning my arm.
"Ok, I'm going to put the IV in. You will feel a very slight pinch. What do you do for work?"
"I am a graphic designer and a musician."
"What kind of music do you do?"
*pinch*
Apparently I do
deep breathing music based on my response. I went into full blown Avoid Fainting Mode™, but I'm ok.
"All sorts of stuff. Rock, electronic, all over the board."
I smile at the nurse.
"I'm going to start the anesthetic now."
"Oh, ok."
I glance around a little to get a better look at my surroundings. There are big dentist style lights above my head.
"Are you starting to see double?"
My eyesight is kind of like I'm really drunk all of a sudden. There are more lights than there should be.
"Yea..."
Instantly I start to come to. I think someone is rubbing my throat, but I'm not sure. There is a mask on my face. I'm breathing something weird. Don't know what it is. It feels like water vapor. I think I'm mumbling.
"Aaron? Hey there...the operation took a little longer than we had wanted, but you look good. You did great!"
I guess that means the operation is over. I pull the mask away a little bit so I can try to talk. What are the first words out of my mouth?
"Does that mean I get a pony?"
She laughs. Another nurse farther away perks her ears like she misheard me.
"If I did a good job, I want a pony! Yay!"
"Heh, I don't think we have any ponies."
"How about a gold star?! I did a good job so I should get a gold star!"
They must have thrown in some fentanyl in my blood bath via tube. I'm feeling good and throwing humor around to lighten the mood. I hope they realize I'm joking and not mentally challenged all of a sudden.
"We don't have any gold stars, but I think we have smiley face stickers. Let me get you one."
"Awwwwweeesome! Thanks!"
If you look at the picture above you can see some blood stains around my mouth. They had to crank my mouth open, shove some tubes in and apparently also clamp my tonge out of the way. My tongue is still swollen with some black marks where the clamps really dug in and probably cut me. Either that or I seriously bit my tongue.
Tags: giggles, health, sick, strep, surgery, throat
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